The Lost One

I wrote this blog not to brag about dating two women. I'm writing this blog to express feelings of love, fear,and trust most men don't even want to admit. 

I would said I've been with at last count 75 different women not all sexual but all emotion. Yet i would say I have only loved one. Out of the gate a lot of people would say you're "THE MAN". Having different relationship has harmed me more than any sickness or family death has every caused me. I have hurt so many women and i saw the pain and stress so to protect my self i would need a relationship instead i would keep them around as if i was building a bunker and they were my survival kits kit I hate to sound like an emotional man, but that's me i am in touch with my feeling and for years I have covered them.

But 75 is a lot some people might say you like the chase. than I would say. That's not it,its just that simply. Most times i would just be a nice guy, a gentleman something must guys are afraid to be. And women would just melt. 

 So what is It????? Is it Love???? I'm the lost one. I'm the man with everything but I still have nothing the bible says a man who finds a wife finds a good thing.. Not a man who finds women.  So to end my first blog i realized I lost the only Woman I have ever Truly Love. Not because of lust not because of the chase. But it is the inability and fear to show the world that i was in LOVE....